"You know, one thing you sometimes forget is no matter how hard your day, no matter how tough your choices are, how complex your ethical decisions, you ALWAYS get to choose what you want for lunch."
-Denny Crane, Boston Legal

She is Ruthie.

Today I realized the strength in the bond growing between me and my dog and it makes me happy. I know "duh" right? It has been a new world for me as I watch her grow and I am able to appreciate her puppyness. She parades through the living room showing off my socks one by one or in pairs if she is lucky enough to find them together. She makes sure my shoes are always never where I put them. She loves to play tug 'o' war with the retractable leash in the back yard while I am freezing in my pajamas waiting for her to take care of business. This happens just before bed time when we are supposed to be winding down. She finds my mail to be quite tasty. In a sea of her own toys my gloves or hat is always the best. The cat is constantly covered in dog saliva to his disgust. She refuses to go on walks when she most needs them and I imagine if she had arms they would often be crossed in frustration. Her expressions crack me up particularly when I am trying to be firm, I just can't win. She is wonderfully agile and a tough little dog. Her new favorite friend is a Great Dane the same age but three times her size, she can hold her own. Every day she shares new vocalizations and sometimes I don't recognize them coming from her. Her best one is at the tail end of a yawn and she uses it for everything. I can't possibly describe it but it has several different meanings. It comes out when she is bored or when she wants something. Her ears are asymmetrical and I do not hold on to any hope that they will straighten out, one up one down. She loves people and expects that every one she meets will stop to adore her. She is very resourceful, I find myself constantly pulling things out of her mouth. She wants to play when I want to rest and she wants to rest when I want to play. She is sassy and smart. She is Ruthie and she is my dog.

Merry Christmas!

Ruthie!!


This is Ruthie. I had no idea while writing the last post that she was waiting for me that day and that I was getting ready for her. They say that God works in mysterious ways. How right "they" are. He knows what I need before I do.

Letting Go...


Two weeks ago I had to say goodbye to my darling friend Abbey. After 14 years of the perfect relationship it was her time to go. I can't really describe the loss I feel though many people have been through it and survived. I have experienced tragedy and loss before but in these events it feels like life is happening to you, throwing a curve ball, and you just have to deal with it because you have no control. The loss of a pet by euthanasia feels different in that you have an intricate part of that decision. You sign the papers you make the appointment and you sit as they give her the injection. Even though time passes and pets get old and sick you prepare yourself it always seem too soon.

I thought I prepared myself as much as possible. We had made frequent visits to the vet. The receptionists recognized my voice on the phone before I even told them my name. Abbey had certain health issues but nothing we couldn't handle, nothing that kept us from the dog park or work. My promised her when her bad days out numbered her good days I would to let her go with her dignity intact. I was careful to watch her health and her moods, hypersensitive to each minute change. I weighed her every other week, fed her special food, gave her her glucosamine, and gave her fluids every other day just to give her kidney's a boost. She was known as the "Energizer" because just when you think she was old and sick she would bounce back. Even the vet was surprised. She still had a high quality of life so when it all came down the way that it did I have to admit in spite of my preparation I found myself blown away as the events rolled out.

Abbey injured her leg falling off of the back seat of the car when I had to break quickly for a squirrel. This happened on Saturday morning October 20th. I was on my way to work but fortunately my schedule allowed me to run abbey over to the vet right away. The vet was optimistic even though abbey couldn't walk on her leg. She gave her a pain killer to let her rest and we went back to work. The following Sunday we spent the day quietly hoping for improvement. A friend came over to help us pass the time by playing a game or two. We didn't see improvement so the vet met me at the clinic to give me an even stronger pain killer. Abbey had not been eating or drinking but she was still confident that we could nurse her through it. The leg wasn't swollen and you could move it with no reaction from Abbey it was looking positive. But everything changed Monday morning.

When we woke up everything seemed the same but a some point Abbey's leg started to swell. I called the vet because in spite of the painkiller Abbey was shaking with what I imagine was intense pain. She would flinch when you barely touched the leg. I had not yet made the decision of what was to come but I made an appointment to have her checked out.

We laid on the floor together waiting for the appointment time to come. I was trying desperately to comfort her. I was looking into her eyes speaking softly to her when it happened. She reached deep into my heart. I still don't know how it happened but she sent me a message, it was time to let her go. I could actually feel my heart skip a beat and I knew intensely what her wish was.

Many of us have been there. The exam room with the white walls and the bright lights. Your heart lying on the floor next to it greatest source of love and comfort wishing only to stop her pain, but yours just beginning. Your body shaking with the grief of what is going to happen. Waiting for the doctor to come in. The surreal feeling of the end of something but still holding on to the slightest bit of hope that this really isn't happening, until the very last instant when you know she is no longer there, that what you hold in your arms is only the vessel that held the spirit to you.

She was ready I know that. The vet knew that. She spoke softly to Abbey as she put the needle in, "You were ready for this girl weren't you." I take a small bit of comfort in the fact that in the end it was a black and white decision and not the gray area of, "is it too soon or did I wait to long." With her kidney disease and the tumor in her stomach it could have been much worse for her. The vet thought that a tumor in Abbeys leg made her bones brittle and that there was a hairline fracture in one of her smaller bones and that is why it didn't show up right away. Her leg had swollen more than it should have and it wasn't going to heal. Either way it felt too soon, 14 years wasn't enough , 50 years wouldn't have been enough.

Last week I picked up Abbey's ashes. I look at the little white box, it is a perfect square 5x5 inches, it is sealed by a tag that has both our names on it. That is all that is required to hold what is left of this little being that was so much more. It is odd to me that one single moment can change everything in your life. That 14 years is reduced to one minute and it is done. The days that follow are very long and empty. You cry until you don't think you have anything left and yet you cry more. You long for the pain to stop why does it take so long? The human heart takes time to heal. Yet when you love something so intensely and perfectly it leaves a forever mark, not a scar, but a loving memory of what you had. Though it feels like an empty place, like something missing right now I look forward to the time when it becomes a warm remembrance of the best kind of friend.

Althea

Saturday Morning

This morning I woke up to a friendly Althea rubbing my hand and face. She was begging me wake up and give her a morning massage. She rarely lets me sleep past 7am. I am not sure what she is so desperate for in the morning but she works very hard to pleasantly and gently rouse me to the world. It is a rare Saturday morning that I have off and even more amazing I am staying in town. I love to wake up slowly and mosey my way into the kitchen where one small push of a button will unleash the pleasant aroma of freshly brewing coffee. When it is ready I my senses will slowly come alive as I pour a cup and watch the steam rise while a few precious drops dribble down the side of the cup. Next I grab the chewed-up leather leash hanging on the back of my desk chair attach to Abbey's collar then we step outside into the overcast morning. It threatens to rain but so far we are safe as Abbey stops to sniff her regular route. She has to be aware of everything that happened on the block since her last sojourn. It is only a short walk as I am still in my Scottie dog pajamas. I feel that the moment I change my clothes it marks the end of a lazy morning. We round the first corner where a large bed of Dahlias and other flowers await us. Every morning I have to stop and appreciate the natural pinks, yellows, whites, and violets of the flowers that populate this space between the house on the corner and its garage. The residents of the house have asked me on many occasions to help myself to cuttings. There is nothing that man can make that equals the natural velvety softness of a living flower petal. As we turn the next corner to head down the alley I see a wild mass of sunflowers trying to hide behind the garage bowing under the weight of the large yellow blossoms but still towering over me. We move down the alley passing closed garage doors and parked cars until we come to our own yard. Abbey has to check her corners looking for what ever activity might have occurred overnight. Then we walk to the front of the building pull out the keys and go inside where I refill my coffee cup and move on to the rest of the day....

To Be a Girl for a Day

It is turning into fall now...leaves have started changing and it is hard to tell what the weather will be. One night it is a frost advisory, then 2 days later it is 90 degrees. I am in a wedding in two weeks. This means that I have to spend an ungodly amount on my appearance. A beautiful cinnamon colored dress that, in spite of the bride's best intentions, I will, most likely, never wear again. I have purchased two pairs of new shoes to go with that dress. Two because the first pair I bought was inappropriate but I loved them and needed an excuse. The bride is an easy going young woman who said they were fine but my mom was kind enough to point out the "clunky" factor. So I was inspired to shop for the higher heeled strappy things that one would normally wear with a fancy dress. Next I was compelled to have my hair foiled to brighten it up. This is something I normally do but not necessarily this time of year. I feel that these people will have their wedding pictures several years into the future, the least I could do is have brighter, richer hair. We will also be provided a professional hair stylist on that day to arrange the appropriate hair styles. Soon it will be time for the brow wax and maybe a 'stache wax since I am there, not to mention the manicure and pedicure. Meanwhile, lacking any form of lipstick, I had to go where the girls are pretty and find some way to enhance my lips. Unfortunately collagen enhancement is out of my price range so I had to settle for the make-up counter at Herberger's. It was virtually painless. Finally I found I needed a new bra. I searched for that little something extra that my thirties stole from me, to give 'em a little push, make. The miracle bra combined with the tummy tucker ought to provide the lady-like figure I strive for. Today I go in for my final dress fitting. All of this just to be girl for a day....

The right pair of shoes

Next month I am in a wedding of a good friend of mine. This means that I have to be in a girlie dress with girlie shoes. Unfortunately I was not provided with a terribly girlie way of being. I had to hunt down a pair of shoes that looked feminine,yet, functional. The first pair I purchased were too "clunky." I love clunky and I can walk in them but unfortunately they were not girlie enough...I have a natural born klutziness combined with genetically calculated accident-prone-ness further complicated by very flat feet. After months of shoe searching I found a passable pair. They look like they have a heel but the toe is also raised so it is not severe enough to render my knees useless. Now I am practicing wearing then around the house in pajamas so I may walk confidently down the aisle. Today I am happy to report that I have worn them for a full hour and a half and have not stumbled once. Perhaps there is hope for me yet....

A True Companion (revised)

“I have made the commitment, blessed to be the receiver of so awe-inspiring gift as the love of a dog, to be a worthy trustee of their hearts and souls until the end.”

-Debra Marlin from Yellow Dog

People who say there is no magic in this world have never experienced the true companionship of a dog. It is a bond that is surpassed only by the love of God. The dog becomes not just a friend or family member but a real extension of your self. This creature can see through the disguises and masks that you show the rest of the world but loves you regardless. If you lash out in fear or anger she calms you down. If you are sad she lays quietly beside you in comfort so you know you are not alone. When you are happy and excited she is joyful and celebrates with you. She knows your needs sometimes before you do.

My bond has the name of Abbey. She is about 40 pounds of short, yet abundant fur. Many shades of blacks, tans and now, grays cover her fourteen year old bones. Her soft brown eyes rimmed with black look past mine into my soul. We rarely have to speak out loud anymore as our routines hardly change. She delights in trips to the river. She scouts a few feet ahead on the path her full wolf like tail straight behind her, she means business. Her floppy, triangle shaped ears are always forward and bouncing as she scans the woods for her would-be prey though her eyes no longer see as much as they used to. Now days we are content to sit by the water for hours as I read a book. She will read the beach with her nose, sniffing under rocks and other river debris. When she has thoroughly checked everything out she will wade into shallows and dip down to cool off. Then she finds an ideal spot near me, content in the sun.

Abbey has a job as well. She shows up on time every day and takes her spot on a broken grooming table. Twelve inches off the ground her throne is piled with dog beds from where she surveys the room. She chooses to lay there all day amid the chaos, dogs barking and biting, telephones ringing, blow dryers whining, and people constantly in and out. Yet she remains unruffled, the only calm presence in the room. She is careful to keep an eye on things between the many naps and adorations of the clients dropping their dogs off for grooming. She is not one to require the spotlight yet she accepts the attention with grace.

Early on Abbey and I had a less than quiet life. In college I had many different roommates in many different houses. We lived with five people at a time sometimes as well as dogs and cats. She always took things in stride. The German shepherd in her was alert and protective. We called her the freak-o-meter because she could read a person’s intentions before we could and she was rarely wrong. She once chased a stranger who had wandered into our house before the other two dogs even knew he was there. She was well prepared for what ever life threw at us.

Abbey is still serious about her duty but her ears hear less and her old bones move slower. Those squirrels, so enticing before are a mild entertainment. She relies on me for comfort and protection. She relies on her nose to read the parts of the world that I cannot understand.

This week Abbey and I went to the vet. We have been there many times before, more often in the last few years but this time was different. She knew before I did. In the bright fluorescent lights of the sterile exam room she was pacing the floor her tongue hanging out, panting faster than usual. She is always a little nervous at the vet but not to this extent. I wonder if she was trying to keep something from me. She hides her weaknesses as any dog will. But the bond is such that I could recognize the subtle changes in her lately.

She is an older dog so we have been watching many things over the last year or so. We have regular blood tests to follow her Kidney disease. X-rays showed some irregularities inside but nothing we could pinpoint. She developed a finicky appetite but with a few tricks such as adding canned, baby and homemade food we have kept her eating. She frolics in the yard, chases her cats, and takes long walks at the river and in the woods. She gets in the car without help. In fact other than a little arthritis and her graying muzzle you would never know her true age. I always tell her she doesn’t look a day over ten.

Still, lately she seems older. More often she will go in the other room to sleep instead of by the couch with me. Sometimes I see her staring out the window but the look on her face gives me the impression she in concentrating inward. Some days she cannot find a comfortable spot to lie down at all. She will look at me really hard willing me to read her mind but I don’t know what she wants. She will stumble, very slightly when going up or down stairs then look at me to see if I noticed.

Dealing with these things I felt I had prepared myself. I do not wish to prolong her life. To keep her around for me would selfish. I will not do surgery of any kind as I do not want her last months to be in recovery. Quality not quantity. I had answered these questions many times. I was prepared.

So when we went to the vet that day I tried to convince my self that it was like all the others times and that I was overreacting. That what I felt in her belly was nothing. Even Dr. Sutherland could barely feel it. But the x-ray showed us a different dog. Abbey’s stomach was filling up half her body cavity. Dr. Sutherland explained the different possibilities of what we were seeing. But when the word tumor comes up you don’t really hear anything else. When the radiologist saw it she confirmed a tumor is causing an obstruction in her stomach. We don’t know how fast it is growing....

Now I am faced with the knowledge that my best friend will not be around forever as I had furtively hoped deep within my heart. We all secretly convince our selves when they are full of life that nothing will ever take them away from us. Logically we know better but on this matter the heart and mind do not always see eye to eye. Now it is my turn to “buck up” as she has done for me over the years. Through the anti-depressants and anxiety, break-ups and tragedies, through the people who have come and gone in our lives she has remained a constant. She is an endless wealth of unconditional love. I will not dwell on the death that awaits her but on the life she has left. Animals see death as a part of life; human beings make it a tragedy and loss. I truly see her as a gift from God. She is an angel lent to me for a short period of time, when I needed her most. When the time comes I will honestly and lovingly let her go.

Michele Heyer, July 19, 2007

I spoke with my Grandma this evening and she told me a funny story I never knew. Apparently when I was about four or five years old my Grandma and my great aunt Jenny took me shopping at a mall in Souix Falls. After a couple hours of shopping I had enough. I was tired and wanted to sit down. I saw a little girl sitting in a seat I wanted so I went over to her and said,"Honey, I think I hear your mom calling you. " The little girl got up and I sat down. My Grandma said aunt Jenny laughed so hard she was crying. I had no idea I had ever been so clever, or so naughty!

The Shmemm Chronicles
I have a cat. I have two actually but this one in particular is his own being. Two days ago he was mad at me. I was on the phone and the computer at the same time. he was trying desperately to get my attention but obviously I was busy. He jumped up on my desk, looked me straight in the eye and then; CHOMP right through the power cord to my laptop.

Andy Had A Farm

My mom came down to visit for a couple of days so we went to the Zoo. We were there first thing in the morning to try to catch the animals unaware in the cooler weather. We found ourselves at the farm because we had to the see the pygmy goats. (my mom is trying to talk my dad into letting her have some at home.) While we were watching our pygmy goats a Zoo volunteer came up to us. He was wearing blue and white pinstriped denim bib-overalls over his green volunteer t-shirt and a straw hat over his gray hair. He was about 5'5" and thin. His name was Andy, he was born in 1919. His lovely wife died eight years ago. She played the tuba in an Army polka band. She was sent overseas with her band shortly after they started seeing each other. He thought he wouldn't see her again. The day after the bombing of Pearl Harbor he enlisted in the Navy with eleven others. After a couple of years he started receiving letters from his girl just out of the blue. They continued to write each other through out the war and were married after. They remained together for 53 years until she died. He spoke with amusement in his voice and a smile on his face, but you could tell he deeply loved his wife and misses her still. The first question my mom asked him, before we knew all this, was if he had goats on his farm. He laughed and said in his quiet raspy voice "and I'll tell you why. My dad had just gotten a brand new car..." (this was long before the war) His dad had driven the new car over to the neighbors to give them a hand (to do what I am not sure.) . "This was a time when people still helped each other..." While the car was parked a goat had jumped in and proceeded to destroy the interior. After that his dad swore they would never have goats and if he ever saw one he would shoot it.

The Final Installment

I remember it like it was yesterday, in truth it was the day before yesterday. I rushed home from work to beat the mailman hoping he was running late. If I didn't get it then I would have to wait til Monday almost two days to pick it up at the post office. But as the mailman came trucking across my yard I ran to the door to greet him with "Do you have a Harry Potter for me?!!"
"Yes I do!" he said. "Your my last one!" He had delivered all of them in the morning. just Harry Potters which was why he was running late. I wasn't home in the morning so he brought it back.

I took the box inside and sat on the sofa. I tore the end open and carefully pulled the book out. I could smell the factory fresh pages. The bright oranges and yellows of the book jacket glowed up at me. The brand new binding creaked as I opened cover. I had to pause. It was the last book, the "final installment." When I read this one it will all be over. The world will never be the same again. It is a daunting thought. I have known these characters for ten years.

Now I am on page 638, I find I have to pause again. Although it has been less than 72 hours we have been through a lot Harry, Ron, Hermione and I. I feel like they are moving away and I am helping them pack up their U-haul. It won't be long now....I don't think I am ready yet. Perhaps I will go do some dishes.

A True Companion

“I have made the commitment, blessed to be the receiver of so awe-inspiring gift as the love of a dog, to be a worthy trustee of their hearts and souls until the end.”

-Debra Marlin from Yellow Dog

People who say there is no magic in this world have never experienced the true companionship of a dog. It is a bond that is surpassed only by the love of God. That dog becomes not just a friend or family member but a real extension of your self. This creature can see through the disguises and masks that you show the rest of the world but loves you regardless. If you lash out in fear or anger she calms you down. If you are sad she lays quietly beside you in comfort so you know you are not alone. When you are happy and excited she is joyful and celebrates with you. She knows your needs sometimes before you do. Her constant presence becomes a physical acknowledgment in your subconscious.

My bond has the name of Abbey. She is about 40 pounds of short, yet abundant fur. Many shades of blacks, tans and now, grays cover her fourteen year old bones. Her soft brown eyes rimmed with black look past mine into my soul. We rarely have to speak out loud anymore as our routines hardly change. She delights in trips to the river. She scouts a few feet ahead on the path her full wolf like tail straight behind her, she means business. Her floppy, triangle shaped ears are always forward and bouncing as she scans the woods for her would-be prey though her eyes no longer see as much as they used to. Now days we are content to sit by the water for hours as I read a book. She will read the beach with her nose, sniffing under rocks or by trees. When she has thoroughly checked everything out she will wade into shallows and dip down to cool off. Then she finds an ideal spot near me, content in the sun.

Abbey has a job as well. She shows up on time every day and takes her spot on a broken grooming table. Twelve inches off the ground her throne is piled with dog beds as she surveys the room. She chooses to lay there all day amid the chaos, dogs barking and biting, telephones ringing, blow dryers whining, and people constantly in and out. Yet she remains unruffled, the only calm presence in the room. She is careful to keep an eye on things between the many naps and adorations of the clients dropping their dogs off for grooming. She is not one to require the spotlight yet she accepts the attention with grace.

Early on Abbey and I had a less than quiet life. In college we had many different roommates in many different houses, we lived with five people at a time sometimes as well as dogs and cats. She always took things in stride. She was alert and protective, the German shepherd in her. We called her the freak-o-meter because she could read a person’s intentions before we could and she was rarely wrong. She once chased a stranger who had wandered into our house before the other two dogs even knew he was there. She was well prepared for what ever life threw at us.

Abbey is still serious about her duty but her ears hear less and her old bones move slower. Those squirrels, so enticing before are a mild entertainment. She relies on me for comfort and protection. She relies on her nose to read the parts of the world that I cannot understand.

This week Abbey and I went to the vet. We have been there many times before more often in the last few years but this time was different. She knew before I did. In the bright fluorescent lights of the sterile exam room she was pacing the floor her tongue hanging out panting faster than usual. She is always a little nervous at the vet but not to this extent. I wonder if she was trying to keep something from me. She hides her weaknesses as any dog will. But the bond is such that I could recognize the subtle changes in her lately.

She is an older dog so we have been watching many things over the last year or so. We have regular blood tests to follow her Kidney disease. X-rays showed some irregularities inside but nothing we could pinpoint. She developed a finicky appetite but with a few tricks such as adding canned, baby and homemade food we have kept her eating. She frolics in the yard, chases her cats, and takes long walks at the river and in the woods. She gets in the car without help. In fact other than a little arthritis and her graying muzzle you would never know her true age. I always tell her she doesn’t look a day over ten.

Dealing with these things I felt I had prepared myself. I do not wish to prolong her life. To keep her around for me would selfish. I will not do surgery of any kind as I do not want her last months to be in recovery. Quality not quantity. I had answered these questions many times. I was prepared.

But lately she seems older. More often she will go in the other room to sleep instead of by the couch with me. Sometimes I see her staring out the window but the look on her face gives me the impression she in concentrating inward. Some days she cannot find a comfortable spot to lie down at all. She will look at me really hard willing me to read her mind but I don’t know what she wants. She will stumble, very slightly when going up or down stairs then look at me to see if I noticed.

So when we went to the vet that day I tried to convince my self that it was like all the others and that I was overreacting. That what I felt in her belly was nothing. Even Dr. Sutherland could barely feel it. But the x-ray showed us a different dog. Abbey’s stomach was filling up half her body cavity. Dr. Sutherland explained the different possibilities of what we were seeing. But when the word tumor comes up you don’t really hear anything else. The radiologist confirmed it. This tumor is causing an obstruction in her stomach. We don’t know how fast it is growing....

So now I am faced with the knowledge that my best friend will not be around forever as I had furtively hoped deep within my heart. We all secretly convince our selves when they are full of life that nothing will ever take them away from us. Logically we know better but on this matter the heart and mind do not always see eye to eye. Now it is my turn to “buck up” as she has done for me over the years. Through the anti-depressants and anxiety, break-ups and tragedies, through the people who have come and gone in our lives she has remained a constant. She is an endless wealth of unconditional love. I will not dwell on the death that awaits her but on the life she has left. Animals see death as a part of life; human beings make it a tragedy and loss. I truly see her as a gift from God. She is an angel lent to me for a short period of time, when I needed her most. When the time comes I will honestly and lovingly let her go.

Gripe #437

There are few things more irritating than having to shave your legs. Especially when you have been using a dull razor for too long and suddenly switch to a new one. My goodness. Who started the leg shaving rule anyway? When? Leg hair is completely natural on 99.99% of all human woman and most non-human female mammals. So why then, are we forced to fight the endless battle of leg shaving. No matter how many foams, creams, non-irritating soaps, specialty razors or hair removing lotions they put out it remains a vain inconvenience. To those of you capable of enduring electrolysis and can afford it Rock on! Waxing?! EEK! To those of you who don't bother with it at all,You hold True Power. In the mean time I am compelled, even though I never wear shorts and remain single, to shave my legs on a regular basis.

Where o where
has my hard muscle gone
Where o where can it beee...
No matter how often
I sing this song
Flab is all I seeee...

A Single Moment....

I don’t even know long we had been driving around; it seemed like hours yet like no time had passed at all. I think I could have been out there forever and it would feel like a single moment. We had seen many animals by this point.

We saw hippos competing for territory, facing each other, mouths wide open, although we couldn’t tell who won, a winner was declared and the loser left standing alone. Human emotion would have you feel sorry for the subordinate, that he was left standing there while the winning hippo tail-flicked his feces at him in declaration of victory. Honestly I just though he looked miffed.

We also saw a crocodile struggling to drag the carcass of a water buffalo down a small rapid. It was painstaking as he fought through the rocks to get to deeper water. Meanwhile we had two rather large, living water buffalo on either side of our vehicle.

Water buffalo are one of “Africa’s Big Five.” This means one Africa’s most dangerous animals. They are most feared by hunters for their courage when wounded. They will, continue fight rather than run. Also included in this group are the, Leopard, Elephant, Rhino and the lion.

I remember when I saw my first wild lion. It was a whole pride with cubs. We were so close that we saw the cubs before any of the others. To me it was like seeing a movie star walking down the street. I had seen these animals so many times on TV that it became a surreal experience to see them in person. They were lounging around in the long grass, yawning to show off the pearly whites, almost looking bored. One female came up from behind and walked right into the middle of our circle of Land rovers. She took the time to study each vehicle as if to say “What are you looking at? I am much more interesting than that lazy pile.” Then she moseyed on through to find a comfortable spot in the shade of a dormant termite mound. That was the most activity we saw from the lions. They seem to while away the time through their lazy afternoons conserving energy for their evening hunt.

At one point we saw a Rhino. Our guide told us how rare it was. They hardly ever saw them on safari. I have to admit I felt privileged our Rhino demonstrated his amazing strength as he urinated right in front of us.

Throughout our stay we saw many wildebeests, zebras, ostriches, two species of giraffe and warthogs. The warthogs would high-tail it whenever we came near with their skinny tails straight as pencils in the air. I couldn’t help but laugh every time. We saw Topi, an African deer that always seemed to be posing for a picture in the sunset no matter when we saw it. Tommy Gazelles were everywhere with their little spiral horns. We even almost caught a cheetah on a hunt but he decided it wasn’t worth his energy, called it off and took a seat on a nearby termite mound. We saw almost every African creature I could hope to see except maybe the leopard, they were absent during our time there. My favorite creature of them all was the Elephant.

What a majestic being. To me elephants are mysterious and romantic. They seem to have an ancient wisdom hidden behind their eyes. They radiate peace and calm within a power that could crush in an instant. Our driver, a Kenyan who had been doing this for 20 years, told us that elephants will take a tusk from a fallen member of their herd with them and bury it. I have also seen on TV how they remember a spot on their journey where they had lost a loved one previously. They will take a moment to mourn and move on.

We came across many herds on our drives. Some herds allowed us to drive right through the middle and wouldn’t bat an eyelash. We could hear the huffing through their trunks and literally feel the swishing of their ears as we passed by. I imagined their leathery skin creaking like a new pair of shoes. Some would turn to us out of curiosity but forget about us the instant we passed. We petty humans were no more than a mild distraction on their journey to the next water hole. Other herds wouldn’t let us any where near them. It was amazing to watch them gather their young ones in the middle of the adults and turn away from us. They wouldn’t panic or stampede but they would set a steady pace to keep some distance between us and their babies. One or two would keep an eye on us and flash their ears out as a warning to stay away. You could read the personality of an entire herd by these actions. Some were more wary than others.

We had just crossed a extensive, rocky ditch with one barely passable trail through it. This would have been filled with water had it not been the dry season and the beginning of drought for Kenya. We could see them nearby. It was a mother, a teenager, and a baby little more than a few months old. Our driver parked us in between the elephants and the path. She saw us immediately. Even a novice, such as myself, with no more experience than a 19 inch TV screen can give, could tell that she was of the more wary variety.

She looked at us and ceased her chewing. She was considering what to do. We were looking back at her totally enthralled. Her ears went big in warning…we sat…she shook her massive head, further warning…we sat….she took a step towards us…still we sat…finally she trumpeted her challenge as she began a determined march in our direction, that, rather quickly, turned in to all out run! We yelled to the drive “she’s coming go!” Next thing we know our driver punches the gas as we are bouncing across the terrain towards our rut path with a five hundred ton elephant literally on our heels! Ok so she wasn’t five hundred tons but we felt like she could have been! When we hit the rut, cameras and bodies hit the floor of the vehicle. She was still following us for good measure but she had slowed down knowing we were no longer a threat, finally she turned back to her calves. We were giddy and exhilarated, not one moment did I feel fear, maybe shock, but never fear. Honestly, I think she knew we were bumpkins from Minnesota and gave us a show for a true African Safari experience.

I loved that moment! All the power of nature behind and still she chose to let us go. In her wisdom she knew we were not a true threat. As we headed back to the lodge we came across another threesome, same exact set up, a mother, teenager and young calf.

This family had a completely different feel to it. The mother barely acknowledged us. The teenager was very close and watched us with curiosity. The baby was hysterical. He put in mind of a young child. He was standing by his mother when he first saw us. His little ears got big, his little voice sounded his challenge and he came running at full speed. Then he would stop suddenly, turn and run back to hide behind his mom. Then he would peek out from behind and start the process all over again. His ears would get big and straight at us he would come only to stop and run back to mom. He did this two or three times before we continued on our way. Meanwhile mom just continued her grazing with perhaps a little laughter in her expression. You couldn’t help it. He was absolutely adorable.

It was an interesting experience. The different personalities of the elephants were so obvious. I feel privileged to have seen it first hand. I felt I could relate to these creatures from a completely different world than mine. Their personalities are every bit as unique as our own. They are an excellent argument for animals having emotions!

Centipede bugs are brown and prickly
Centipede bugs are always big
Centipede bugs are in my house
Centipede bugs always make me wig
Centipede bugs will always win
and send me straight to the loony bin.

GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE

It started innocently at first. I just went out in the morning to read at the table in my back yard for a while as I had my coffee. It was a lovely sunny morning. I slept in kind of late. I was supposed to pick Jami up for a movie, but I had some time to relax. I hadn’t eaten breakfast yet. I was in my coffee cup print, flannel pajama bottoms, a brown tank top, a worn out, stained, gray zip up sweatshirt, bright orange baseball cap partially hiding my greasy hair. I had grabbed my watch so I could watch the time as I had to be somewhere.

That morning I had made a particularly good pot of coffee and I was reading a really good book with my wonderful dog lying beside me. I have to admit I was focused only on the pleasure of the moment. I don’t even know how long it took or why out of the blue I realized it, with a start, a random thought in the middle of the chapter. Suddenly I leapt from my chair, dug fervently through all two of my pockets only to rediscover what I already knew. NO KEYS!!!!!

I live in a security building. Doors automatically lock behind you. So I immediately ran around to the front door and proceeded to ring the doorbells one by one. Then again…again….again..again.againagainagain….did I mention the pot of coffee on an empty stomach. Hmm, no one home.

So, being the quick minded person I am I went back to the back yard to stew. Alas what shall I do? It turns out that I live in a fairly well populated area with stores and stuff. So I figured I would use the phone at the bike shop next door. So I grabbed Abbey’s collar (as I had no leash, no phone and no money as well as no keys) and made my way from my yard across the small parking lot to the bike shop. Abbey is not a large dog but neither is she a convenient carrying size so when leading her by the collar I am uncomfortably hunched over. That was until she put on the breaks and refused to move another step. I was forced to carry her the rest of the way and struggled (no one came to help me) to open the door and stepped into the store with an oversized dog in my arms. I backed myself right out after I saw several faces staring at me with “looney-woman-comin’-through-everybody-run” looks mixed with pity.

I decided to try my luck next door at the record shop. I rarely see people in there. The young man took real pity on me and allowed us in to use the phone. I had to call work to get Jami’s number. In this day of cell phone memories I need no memory of my own. I finally had Jami on the phone and told her my plight and after several minutes of delightful laughter on her end she agreed to come rescue us. I just needed a place to be that has a bathroom until my building mates start getting home from work maybe around five.

Abbey and I returned to the back yard (which isn’t nearly as pleasant as it was earlier) to await Jami’s arrival. But what did we see as we came around the building? The Yard Guy! Like a bright shiny beacon in the middle of a dark storm. The Yard Guy would have the building owner’s number! Yay! We were saved; there was hope for a shower yet! Abbey and I ran over to welcome him to the yard. Well I wanted to welcome him Abbey pretended to want to tear him to pieces. He said he did have the landlord’s number as the landlord had just called him on his cell phone yesterday and he had his cell phone with him at the moment. Oh yes! “Ok” he says “I just have to figure out how to retrieve the number.” as he pulled out his older model cell phone. The kind that doesn’t tell you what the keys are for. After several minutes of deliberation and one phone call to his daughter (who gave him the phone) for instructions we were no closer to entry than before. We could not retrieve the number. Alas…But Wait! He said he could run home and get it off of his computer! He lived less than a block away! (He has a wonderful yard filled with bright flowers.)

Jami arrived at the front just as The Yard Guy was leaving by the alley. We put Abbey in Jami’s car so she no longer tried to eat The Yard Guy and I caught her up on the events since I spoke with her. Then we waited….and we waited…and we, oh here he came, paper in hand, he unnecessarily apologized for his slow computer. He breathlessly dialed the number and handed the phone to me. As I listened to the ringing I composed my message hoping he’d come let me in sooner than five. But he answered! This is good. I explained to him my predicament and he reminded me that there was a lock box on the front door, of course! All I needed was the code! I kept him on the phone while I punched in the code, before I knew it there was a key in my hand and I unlocked the door to my building! Yay! I thanked my landlord and The Yard Guy. Jami was allowed to return home until I picked her up in twenty minutes, we still had a movie to see. I did not get my shower until several hours later.

There were many heroes for me that day. The Record Store Guy, The Yard Guy, My Landlord, and Jami. I am grateful for all of them. But not the people in the bike shop. They were not my heroes.

I think "We Built This City" is the single worst song ever created.